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Ordering Pizza in 2008


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  • Ordering Pizza in 2008

    Ordering Pizza in 2008

    Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
    Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
    Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number 266-2566. Email
    address is sheehan@ Which number are you calling from, sir?"

    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
    add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
    National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

    Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
    and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."

    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    How long will it take?

    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
    you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
    can be a little awkward."

    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
    car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

    Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here
    on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh
    yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
    Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    Customer: (Speechless)

    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

    Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
    from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
    this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
    [COLOR=Red]Semper Fi[/COLOR]
    In Loving Memory of My Daughter

  • #2
    That's more scary than funny. A lot more.
    I'm a Daddy!!

    [COLOR=DarkRed] Rear bumper/tire carrier and front bumper!![/COLOR]

    2002 Jeep TJ (Ember)
    1982 Jeep J10 w/ a 360


    • #3
      Can you say Blackmarket Pizza?

      [sign]nlm mln[/sign]


      • #4
        It wouldn't surprise me if things ever got this bad. Just look back and see how badly they're abusing things like The Patriot Act. Grrrrrr...

        Please deposit 25 cents to see me go off on the governments abuse of of power.

        I fix things.


        • #5
          If this got this way for real, I'm hiding!!! Can you say hibernate?

          That is scary.
          1993 Wrangler Black, 4" ProComp Lift, 33s.
          Glad to be back in California!