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My Move to Wyoming (Author unknown)

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  • My Move to Wyoming (Author unknown)

    MY MOVE TO WYOMING
    Aug, 12
    Moved to my new home in Wyoming. It’s so beautiful here; the mountains are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them covered with snow. GOD’S COUNTRY! I love it here.

    Oct, 14
    Wyoming is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through some of the most beautiful mountains and spotted some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful creatures on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.

    Nov 1
    Dear season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such elegant creatures. The very symbols of peace and tranquility. I hope it will snow soon. I love it here!

    Dec 2
    It snowed last night. Woke up to find every thing blanketed in white. It looks like a post card. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, this is truly a wonderland.

    Dec 12
    More snow last night. What beauty. The snowplow did his trick again (that little rascal). I love it here.

    Dec 19
    More snow last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I’m exhausted from shoveling. I need a snowplow!

    Dec 22
    More of the white stuff fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. Idiot! They should use more salt to melt the stupid ice.

    Dec 25
    Bah Humbug, White Christmas. More stupid snow. If I ever get my hands on that snowplow driver I swear I’ll wring his neck. Don’t know why they didn’t use more salt to melt the ice.

    Dec 28
    More white stuff last night. Been in side since Christmas Day except for shoveling out the driveway after “Snowplow Harry? comes by every time. Can’t go anywhere; the car is buried in a mountain of white. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of this #*%# tonight! Do you know how many shovels of snow that is? Think it’s time to give the wife the shovel. Had a deer get into my yard and root up all of what was left of my shrubs.

    Jan 1
    Happy yuck, New Year! The weatherman was wrong again. We got 31 inches of that white junk this time. At this rate, it won’t melt off till the fourth of July. The snowplow got stuck up the road and the dumbhead driver had the nerve to come to the door to borrow my shovel. I told him I’ve broken six shovels already from shoveling the junk he’s pushed into my driveway. I broke the last one over his stupid head.

    Jan 4
    Finally got out of the house today. I went to the store to get some food and on the way back, a stupid deer ran in front of my car and I hit the thing. Did $3,000.00 damage to my car. Those stupid beasts are a menace. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

    May 3
    Took my car to the garage in town. Would you believe it the thing is rotting out from all the stupid salt they kept dumping all over the road? Car looks like a piece of junk!

    Jun 1
    Packed up and moved to Arizona. I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in the God-forsaken state of Wyoming.

    Jul 4
    Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blend together. What a place! Watched the fireworks at the park laying on a blanket. It was beautiful! I’ve found my home.

    Jul 5
    Really heating up. Got up to 105 today. Not a problem. Live in air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. Life’s full of trade-offs. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

    Jul 7
    Had the back yard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it.

    Jul 10
    The temperature has not been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

    Jul 15
    Fell asleep by the pool today. Got second degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though, got to respect the ol’ sun.

    Jul 20
    Missed Tabby (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen to the size of a shopping bag and exploded over $2,000.00 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles an I don’t know what. New rule, no pets in this heat.

    Jul 25
    Dry stupid heat. Man is it hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman wants $200.00 just to drive by and tell me he need to order parts.

    Jul 30
    Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100.00 house payment and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

    Aug 4
    115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500.00 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid slob repairman took a bath in my pool. I hate this stupid state.

    Aug 8
    If another smart mouth cracks “ Hot enough for you today?? I’m going to tear his throat out! This stupid heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over; my cloths are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!

    Aug 10
    The weatherman might as well make a recording, hot and sunny. It’s been too hot to long, two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren desert?

    Aug 19
    Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 123 degrees today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, “ Hot enough for you today??
    My wife had to spend the $1,100.00 house payment to bail me out of jail.

    Aug 30
    Hottest day of the whole summer. I’m not even leaving the house. Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700.00 worth of cactus dried up and just blew into the pool. Even a cactus can’t live in this heat. That does it, were moving back to Wyoming, deer season is about to start.
    [COLOR=Red]Semper Fi[/COLOR]
    In Loving Memory of My Daughter

  • #2
    ain't that the truth ... LOL cute read.
    :gun:'99 TJ Sport:gun:

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