The Starbucks Oracle

[sarah]

Take a deeper look into your Starbucks drink and your fortune will be told. See your fortune.

[cbremer]

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink triple tall mocha are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

[sarah]

chuck - we're both strippers! (and order mochas)

[Dukes69]

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks big mocca retard latte.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home



Is it true

[Dukes69]

I dont like the Starbucks Oracle

[sarah]

OH CRUMB!! stop whining!
(ROFL + infinity)

[Trailbst]

if I ever come face to face with that friggin' starbucks oracle, i'm gonna beat the oh crumb out of it!!!!

[calipup]

so interesting enough the starbucks oracle only has two brief fortunes. Must've took tons of hours to develop that. hehe

[RatherBeJeeping]

I found a 3rd, but had to go look at the menu to see what they serve.

Personality type: Asshat

You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink small Caffè Americano are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.

Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better

[RatherBeJeeping]

and another:

Personality type: Pseudo-intellectual

You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters "just in case it's true." All people who drink Chai Tea Grande are potheads.

Also drinks: Sparkling water
Can also be found at: Designer grocery stores

[carrizojim]

Personality type: Kook
Claims to be an environmentalist, but owns a large dog that eats squirrels and cats. Drives a 1963 Volkswagen bus with "love mother earth" bumperstickes all over it, but is too stoned to realize that it pollutes more than 5 V-10 Vipers. Still wears jeans with flowered material hand sewn in to make them bell bottoms. Never cuts or combs their hair. Drinks plain coffee with artificial cream because it exploits cows, and artificial sweetener because it exploits workers.


Also drinks: chamomille tea
Can also be found at: Earth day celebrations throwing trash on the ground, claiming its from trees so its biodegradable.