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NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION
"We the sensible people of the United States, in
An attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guide lines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, and
delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident:
that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you
if you can legally acquire them,but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to
never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone--not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be
free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your
eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free
food and housing. Americans are the most charitable
people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in;
need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet
peeve...get an education and go to work...don't
expect everyone else to take care of you!)
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free
health care. That would be nice, but from the looks
of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to
physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in
the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce
away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the
right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do n ot have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will
gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and vocational training laid before you to
make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to
happiness. Being an American means that you have
the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is
a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over
abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you
who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking
country. We don't care where you are from, English
is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever
you came from!
(lastly...)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to
change our country's history or heritage. This
country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any
religion, any faith, o r no faith at all; with no
fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is
part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
AMEN!!!!
"We the sensible people of the United States, in
An attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guide lines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, and
delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident:
that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you
if you can legally acquire them,but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to
never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone--not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be
free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your
eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free
food and housing. Americans are the most charitable
people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in;
need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet
peeve...get an education and go to work...don't
expect everyone else to take care of you!)
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free
health care. That would be nice, but from the looks
of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to
physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in
the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce
away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the
right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do n ot have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will
gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and vocational training laid before you to
make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to
happiness. Being an American means that you have
the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is
a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over
abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you
who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking
country. We don't care where you are from, English
is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever
you came from!
(lastly...)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to
change our country's history or heritage. This
country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any
religion, any faith, o r no faith at all; with no
fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is
part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
AMEN!!!!
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