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  • Wal-Mart

    A middle-aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on 'special'.

    Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!" The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

    The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!" And in doing so draws an even larger crowd. In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that? "

    In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"

    The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded


    15 things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares......and see what happens.

    5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

    10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

    11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

    12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    And last but not least
    15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"

  • #2
    Speaking of wally world......

    One of the best animations yet.....

    http://www.jibjab.com/Movies/ClickTh...?contentid=122

    *dialup beware.........and yes, you gotta wait through the commercial at the beginning to see the clip.....
    Last edited by goodtimes; 11-29-05, 12:58 PM.
    olllllllo <--- If you can read that, roll me over!

    Price is soon forgotton, quality is not.

    KG6OWO

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