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you know you live on the gulf coast when...

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  • you know you live on the gulf coast when...

    *You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

    *You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

    *Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.

    *You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

    *When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

    *Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie your arms.

    *You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

    *You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.

    *The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.

    *You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

    *You own more than three large coolers.

    *You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it

    *You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"

    *You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.

    *Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

    *You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.

    *You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

    *You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.

    *At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

    *You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

    *There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

    *You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.

    *Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

    *Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

    *Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.

    *Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

    *You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

    *You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.

    *A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

    *You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.

    *Your child's first words, "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA!

    *Having a tree in your living room does n ot necessarily mean it's Christmas.

    *Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.

    *You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."

    *Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

    *You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the
    air conditioning.
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