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Guy dictionary


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  • Guy dictionary

    "I'M GOING FISHING" means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "IT'S A GUY THING" means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" means: "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" means: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD." means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." means: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

    actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT." means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" means: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." means: ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
    You're just upset because the voices in my head only talk to ME!

  • #2
    Here's a couple I may have used

    "IT WILL MAKE THE RIDE MUCH SMOOTHER" means: "It will flex like an SOB."

    "IT WILL IMPROVE GAS MILEAGE" means: "It must be good for 20 horses"

    "IT'S A VERY SCENIC RUN" means: "The rocks are the size of minivans."

    "IT'S OK, I'VE BEEN DOWN HERE BEFORE" means: "If we don't go wheels up, it will be a miracle."
    "your jeep looks so hot!!"


    • #3
      And the ever so popular is the outta the blue "Love ya hunny"... which means one of many things,

      A) I just bought something very expensive that I cant afford, your gonna be pissed.
      B) I want to buy something very expensive, but you will be pissed.
      C) I just blew something up while playing Tim the Tool Man Taylor
      Yellow 01 Sport
      4" Pro Comp lift | D44 | 33x12.5 Duratracs


      • #4
        “Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. ”
        -Gen. George S. Patton Jr.


        • #5
          Ok Honey that sounds nice go ahead and buy it, means, I have my eye on a 2500 dolar upgrade to the jeep and need you to buy something rediculous so I have an excuse to buy it.

          Your hair looks great, means, Damn woman how much did that guy charge you to screw it up thet bad

          and the classic, Honey lets go shopping for that ...... you've been wanting, means, I have something so such a big jeep purchase to hide, I need to pacify you because you might divorce me
          censored for having an opinion