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Monday morn jokes (PG-13)

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  • Monday morn jokes (PG-13)

    Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
    >A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
    >
    >Q: What's a mixed feeling?
    >A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
    >
    >Q: What's the height of conceit?
    >A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
    >
    >Q: What's the definition of macho?
    >A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.
    >
    >Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
    >A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
    >
    >Q: Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
    >A: They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.
    >
    >Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
    >A: Because it's worth it.
    >
    >Q: What is a Yankee?
    >A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    >
    >Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
    >A: They both like a tight seal.
    >
    >Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
    >A: Their balls are just for decoration.
    >
    >Q: What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
    >A: About three inches.
    >
    >Q: Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
    >A: For traction in the mud.
    >
    >Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
    >A: The grip.
    >
    >Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
    >A: It's not hard.
    >
    >Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
    >A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
    >
    >Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    >A: 45 pounds.
    >
    >Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    >A: 45 minutes.
    >
    >Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    >A: Breasts don't have eyes.
    >
    >Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
    >A: A Swallow
    >
    >Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
    >A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
    >
    >Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
    >A: They don't have balls to scratch.
    >
    “Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. ”
    -Gen. George S. Patton Jr.

  • #2
    Nice
    [COLOR=blue]Chris[/COLOR]
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