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How to shower like a woman, how to shower like a man.

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  • How to shower like a woman, how to shower like a man.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
    along
    the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make mental note--must do
    more
    sit-ups.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide
    loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with
    natural
    avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash your face with crushed
    apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come
    off.)

    Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get
    it
    waxed instead.

    Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the
    water
    pressure.

    Turn off the shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
    spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

    Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
    see
    your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay
    to
    bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
    a
    pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
    "woo-woo"
    sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if
    you
    have pecs (no).

    Admire your body in the mirror and scratch your butt.

    Fart.

    Get in the shower.

    Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

    Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

    Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

    Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a shampoo Mohawk.

    Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

    Pee (in the shower).

    Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
    because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.

    Partially dry off.

    Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

    Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

    Leave bathroom fan and light on.

    Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your
    wife,
    pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound
    again.

    Throw wet towel on the bed.

    Get dressed in under two minutes.

    Fart
    “Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. ”
    -Gen. George S. Patton Jr.

  • #2
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah Ha!!!
    Last edited by Dukes69; 10-24-04, 07:05 PM.
    [COLOR=blue]Chris[/COLOR]
    SAVE JOHNSON VALLEY!!! - CLICK HERE
    Ya Savvy?

    Motech Performance

    Comment


    • #3
      Except for the peeing part, that was remarkably accurate
      It's not the size of your tire, it's how you place it!

      '98 wrangler 4" superlift rockrunner kit, adjustable trackbar, 33's, rear EZlocker,
      and Kargomaster rack.

      Comment


      • #4
        That is so not me!!! I don't use a half a dozen of different stuff to wash with. Plus, I don't wear a long dressing gown to the bathroom and I'm the one who leaves a pile of clothes on the floor
        1993 Wrangler Black, 4" ProComp Lift, 33s.
        Glad to be back in California!

        Comment


        • #5
          Who was looking into my house as my girlfriend and I were bathing. I would like to know so I can watch too. PS I was laughing so hard I was crying.

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