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  • Something to offend everyone

    What is a Yankee?
    >
    >The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    >
    >The position of the dirt bag.
    >
    >
    >
    >Why is divorce so expensive?
    >
    >Because it's worth it.
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
    >
    >One US leader.
    >
    >
    >
    >What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    >
    >Doughnuts.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
    >
    >100 people who don't do dick..
    >
    >
    >
    >What do you call a smart blonde?
    >
    >A golden retriever.
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    >
    >45 lbs.
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    >
    >45 minutes.
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    >
    >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    >
    >
    >
    >Why do men want to marry virgins?
    >
    >They can't stand criticism.
    >
    >
    > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    >
    >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    >
    >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
    >
    >
    >
    >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    >
    >Mace will do that to you.
    >
    >
    >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    >
    >Breasts don't have eyes.
    >
    >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    >
    >He walks around saying "Yo."
    >
    >
    >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    >
    >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
    >
    >
    >
    >Where does an Irish fa mily go on vacation?
    >
    >A different bar.
    >
    >
    >
    >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    >
    >A speech impediment.
    >
    >
    >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    >
    >A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
    >
    >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
    >
    >
    >
    >What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    >
    >A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
    >A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    >
    >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
    >
    >
    “Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. ”
    -Gen. George S. Patton Jr.

  • #2
    Those were great!
    [color=grey]Ryan[/color]
    [COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]No Jeep To speak of. But I got a Hummer H3[/COLOR]

    Comment


    • #3
      Indeed! Pretty Damn funny
      [COLOR=blue]Chris[/COLOR]
      SAVE JOHNSON VALLEY!!! - CLICK HERE
      Ya Savvy?

      Motech Performance

      Comment


      • #4
        :thumbs_up :thumbs_up
        [COLOR=Red]Semper Fi[/COLOR]
        In Loving Memory of My Daughter

        Comment


        • #5
          I approve.......

          Comment


          • #6
            That wasn't fair!! Tom knew some of those because he already read this post!!! But they were funny.
            1993 Wrangler Black, 4" ProComp Lift, 33s.
            Glad to be back in California!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by paulhead View Post
              What is a Yankee?
              >
              >The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
              >
              >The position of the dirt bag.
              >
              >
              >
              >Why is divorce so expensive?
              >
              >Because it's worth it.
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
              >
              >One US leader.
              >
              >
              >
              >What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
              >
              >Doughnuts.
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
              >
              >100 people who don't do dick..
              >
              >
              >
              >What do you call a smart blonde?
              >
              >A golden retriever.
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
              >
              >45 lbs.
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
              >
              >45 minutes.
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
              >
              >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
              >
              >
              >
              >Why do men want to marry virgins?
              >
              >They can't stand criticism.
              >
              >
              > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
              >
              >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
              >
              >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
              >
              >
              >
              >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
              >
              >Mace will do that to you.
              >
              >
              >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
              >
              >Breasts don't have eyes.
              >
              >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
              >
              >He walks around saying "Yo."
              >
              >
              >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
              >
              >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
              >
              >
              >
              >Where does an Irish fa mily go on vacation?
              >
              >A different bar.
              >
              >
              >
              >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
              >
              >A speech impediment.
              >
              >
              >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
              >
              >A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
              >
              >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
              >
              >
              >
              >What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
              >
              >A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
              >A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >Why is there no Disneyland in China?
              >
              >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
              >
              >
              I just had to repost this. Classic funny... Thanks again Paul.
              [CENTER][COLOR=#ff0000]Resistance Off Road
              [/COLOR]Join the Resistance...
              http://www.resistanceoffroad.us[/CENTER]

              Comment


              • #8
                Frikin hilarious!
                holes = cowbell

                Comment


                • #9
                  No time limit on damn funny !
                  Dennis and Tammy
                  Its as much fun getting dirty as it is being dirty in a Jeep!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    *Like*
                    SBCO Fire Dept. CERT volunteer
                    MJR moderator
                    MJR Adopt-a-Trail Crew member
                    Jeep Patrol Leader
                    Reforestation Supervisor
                    Licensed Ham - n6ujm
                    Eagle Scout

                    Comment

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