Tweet
What is a Yankee?
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>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
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>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
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>The position of the dirt bag.
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>Why is divorce so expensive?
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>Because it's worth it.
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>What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
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>One US leader.
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>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
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>Doughnuts.
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>What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
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>100 people who don't do dick..
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>What do you call a smart blonde?
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>A golden retriever.
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>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
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>45 lbs.
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>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
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>45 minutes.
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>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
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>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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>Why do men want to marry virgins?
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>They can't stand criticism.
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> What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
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>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
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>A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
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>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
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>Mace will do that to you.
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>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
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>Breasts don't have eyes.
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>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
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>He walks around saying "Yo."
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>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
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>Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
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>Where does an Irish fa mily go on vacation?
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>A different bar.
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>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
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>A speech impediment.
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>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
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>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
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>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
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>Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
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>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
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>A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
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>Why is there no Disneyland in China?
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>No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
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>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>
>
>
>
>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>
>The position of the dirt bag.
>
>
>
>Why is divorce so expensive?
>
>Because it's worth it.
>
>
>
>What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
>
>One US leader.
>
>
>
>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>
>Doughnuts.
>
>
>
>
>What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
>
>100 people who don't do dick..
>
>
>
>What do you call a smart blonde?
>
>A golden retriever.
>
>
>
>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>
>45 lbs.
>
>
>
>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>
>45 minutes.
>
>
>
>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>
>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>
>
>
>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>
>They can't stand criticism.
>
>
> What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>
>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
>
>
>
>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>
>A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
>
>
>
>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>
>Mace will do that to you.
>
>
>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>
>Breasts don't have eyes.
>
>Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>
>He walks around saying "Yo."
>
>
>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>
>Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>
>
>
>Where does an Irish fa mily go on vacation?
>
>A different bar.
>
>
>
>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
>
>A speech impediment.
>
>
>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>
>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
>
>
>
>
>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
>
>Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>
>
>
>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
>
>A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
>
>
>
>
>Why is there no Disneyland in China?
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>No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
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[COLOR=blue]Chris[/COLOR] 
But they were funny.
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