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You Know You Have A Real Jeep If . . .
1. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
2. You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain
3. You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark
4. You roll it over and don't get upset
5. Your mom or your sister can't get in without help
6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
7. You puke when you see a RAV-4
8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
9. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bitch-slap the driver
10. It takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
11. You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
12. You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"
13. You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker
14. You can see OVER a Suburban
15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
16. Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
17. It rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off
18. You drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
19. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
20. Your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house
21. You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
22. You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield
23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top
28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance
29. Even worse, the car wash won't let you in
30. You fix almost everything yourself
31. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
32. You have all your credit card numbers memorized
33. You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
34. You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it
35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
37. You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership
38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
41. You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps
43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud
44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station
48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway
50. The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine
51. Your wallet is always empty!
1. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
2. You determine that the best route from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain
3. You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark
4. You roll it over and don't get upset
5. Your mom or your sister can't get in without help
6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
7. You puke when you see a RAV-4
8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
9. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bitch-slap the driver
10. It takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
11. You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
12. You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"
13. You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker
14. You can see OVER a Suburban
15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
16. Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
17. It rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off
18. You drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
19. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
20. Your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house
21. You take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
22. You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield
23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top
28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance
29. Even worse, the car wash won't let you in
30. You fix almost everything yourself
31. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
32. You have all your credit card numbers memorized
33. You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
34. You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it
35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
37. You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership
38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
41. You think that any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps
43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud
44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station
48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway
50. The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tires in order to reach the engine
51. Your wallet is always empty!
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